Transformational Energies

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Although I began my self-healing journey many years ago it has only really been during this past year that I have felt and more importantly understood the transformational energies that have been making themselves known to me.

The shift in my personal growth began when I started to question my true identity as an ARTist and Creative Expressionista/Entrepreneur because I was feeling somewhat of a ‘fake’ … not that I was faking or had ever faked who I really was before, during and currently on my journey to overcome chronic pain.  So why did I feel this way???

Why indeed, I was having a real-life Identity crisis but it had absolutely nothing with being a Fake or a Fraud!

What was really happening was that I was feeling the upside to being relatively Pain-Free.  I was experiencing more good days than bad and I was focusing on other things other than being in pain (and my friendly Pain Demon foes).

I was questioning why would I still want to be around others experiencing pain when I was in much better health myself?  Why as an Empath would I want to take on board other people’s pain/issues/stuff?  Should I not just be focusing on making abstract art and not concern myself with anyone else, be selfish for a change!

These were just for starters, my mind had gone into permanent overdrive and my Insomnia had returned.

Yes I still have some real doozy days when life hits me with the biggest curve-balls that it can throw at me but over the years I have learned how to catch and dispose of them before I fall back into a state of despair and pain.

The catalyst to it all was being asked “how was my arts business going” to which I replied “almost at a standstill as I have been so busy studying this year and although I still have been doing the odd painting here and there, I have not been putting much energy or effort into actually selling my art.”

Then I was asked “so are you an artist or not” and to that I replied “yes of course I am an artist but I am not just an artist am I?”

This conversation continued for quite some time and it left me absolutely full of self-doubt and almost to the point of wanting to quit.  Truth be said it was actually the kick up the jatzy that I obviously needed to spur me into taking action.

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© Energetic Abstractions 2015

A huge part of me feeling ‘fake’ was because I was now not so dependent on creating art as a means of pain relief (what I refer to as PAINt Relief).

I was feeling the best that I had done in years so I actually found myself struggling when I would sit down to a blank white canvas or sheet of paper.  Whereas beforehand when pain was my focus I could paint abstractions until I would run out of paint.

These hesitations (eventually I would actually get paint onto paper/canvas) and focus on arts-based creative expression studies had me questioning if I really was cut out to be an abstract artist or should I just focus on helping others instead or g out and get myself a “real job”?

Are you kidding!!!  It was me dabbling in art (as well as resonating with other Alternative Therapies) that led me to better health so why the heck would I want to give up the one thing that has truly kept me sane over the years of coping and managing chronic pain!

Now that I was opening up my mind and thinking of every outcome possible I could feel the intensity of my own transformational energies circling me.

First up was to decide that I would combine under my Energetic Abstractions business my Abstract Energy ARTist creative venture with my PAINt Relief/Holistic ARTistry creative venture.

The second decision was for this Introvert to come out of hiding and face my biggest fear … no guts, no glory right … so I hereby reintroduce myself as Abstract Energy ARTist Rosetta Elsner!!!

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In summary, I need to go back to the original question at hand … to be truly Authentic meant that I could no longer hide who I really am, which is still very much an Abstract Energy ARTist who has successfully learned to manage chronic pain (with the help of Allopathic & Non-Allopathic therapies) and now would like to continue teaching others to do so for themselves via Holistic ARTistry.  Phew … identity crisis resolved!!

Rosetta Elsner ARTist 🙂

 

 

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