Although I began my self-healing journey many years ago it has only really been during this past year that I have felt and more importantly understood the transformational energies that have been making themselves known to me.
The shift in my personal growth began when I started to question my true identity as an ARTist and Creative Expressionista/Entrepreneur because I was feeling somewhat of a ‘fake’ … not that I was faking or had ever faked who I really was before, during and currently on my journey to overcome chronic pain. So why did I feel this way???
Why indeed, I was having a real-life Identity crisis but it had absolutely nothing with being a Fake or a Fraud!
What was really happening was that I was feeling the upside to being relatively Pain-Free. I was experiencing more good days than bad and I was focusing on other things other than being in pain (and my friendly Pain Demon foes).
I was questioning why would I still want to be around others experiencing pain when I was in much better health myself? Why as an Empath would I want to take on board other people’s pain/issues/stuff? Should I not just be focusing on making abstract art and not concern myself with anyone else, be selfish for a change!
These were just for starters, my mind had gone into permanent overdrive and my Insomnia had returned.
Yes I still have some real doozy days when life hits me with the biggest curve-balls that it can throw at me but over the years I have learned how to catch and dispose of them before I fall back into a state of despair and pain.
The catalyst to it all was being asked “how was my arts business going” to which I replied “almost at a standstill as I have been so busy studying this year and although I still have been doing the odd painting here and there, I have not been putting much energy or effort into actually selling my art.”
Then I was asked “so are you an artist or not” and to that I replied “yes of course I am an artist but I am not just an artist am I?”
This conversation continued for quite some time and it left me absolutely full of self-doubt and almost to the point of wanting to quit. Truth be said it was actually the kick up the jatzy that I obviously needed to spur me into taking action.